{"id":52449,"date":"2023-01-04T22:49:42","date_gmt":"2023-01-04T22:49:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/?p=52449"},"modified":"2023-01-11T15:36:18","modified_gmt":"2023-01-11T15:36:18","slug":"forging-human-connections-in-prison-even-when-the-system-treats-them-as-garbage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/2023\/01\/forging-human-connections-in-prison-even-when-the-system-treats-them-as-garbage\/","title":{"rendered":"Forging human connections in prison \u2014 even when the system treats them as garbage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Often our social lives become limited due to intensive work periods, social media bubbles or social restrictions owing to the COVID pandemic. One of the more socially restricted environments is the total institution we call \u201cprison.\u201d Here I reminisce about the time I made a deep human connection during a long period of seclusion in prison. I was at Her Majesty\u2019s Prison Preston, U.K., during six months from Sept. 13, 1998, on charges of \u201cconspiracy to commit criminal damage\u201d to a Trident nuclear weapon submarine. See also the <a href=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/2020\/06\/prison-letter-civil-disobedience-arrest-nuclear-submarine\/\">introduction<\/a> to this series of diary notes, and <a href=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/2021\/11\/prison-as-an-unavoidable-and-useful-part-of-resistance\/\">my reflections on prison as part of resistance<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>October 15, 1998, <\/strong><strong><br><\/strong><strong>Her Majesty\u2019s Prison Preston, U.K.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Day 33 of imprisonment for a Plowshares disarmament action<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Today I was told I had a visitor. I waited in the visiting room but didn&#8217;t know who was coming. It was noisy; a lot of people talking, babies crying, announcements being made. A tall slender man with long black hair came up to me, stretched out his hand and said in broken English:<\/p>\n\n\n<section class=\"display-posts-listing\"><h6 class=\"sans-serif text-uppercase small-letter-spacing text-gray\">Previous Coverage<\/h6><li class=\"listing-item\"><a class=\"image\" href=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/2020\/06\/prison-letter-civil-disobedience-arrest-nuclear-submarine\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"924\" height=\"536\" src=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2020\/06\/Screen-Shot-2020-06-15-at-1.27.09-AM.png\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-post-image\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2020\/06\/Screen-Shot-2020-06-15-at-1.27.09-AM.png 924w, https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2020\/06\/Screen-Shot-2020-06-15-at-1.27.09-AM-300x174.png 300w, https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2020\/06\/Screen-Shot-2020-06-15-at-1.27.09-AM-768x446.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 924px) 100vw, 924px\" \/><\/a> <a class=\"title\" href=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/2020\/06\/prison-letter-civil-disobedience-arrest-nuclear-submarine\/\">He went to prison for civil disobedience. His cell mate was convicted of murder. Together, they struggled with guilt and redemption.<\/a><\/li><\/section>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cHi Stellan! My name is Alexandro. I am from Italy but live in Preston. I am a priest of the Xavarians, a Catholic order.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We sat down in front of each other, separated by a long visitor\u2019s desk, and he continued: \u201cWe have contact with Liverpool Catholic Worker and Ciaron O`Reilly. When I heard that you were in prison here in Preston, I thought I should visit you. Hear how you feel.\u201d Alexandro spread his hands in a wide gesture and smiled warmly at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cThanks, I appreciate it. I do well here in prison even though my mood goes up and down. Do you know anything about prisons?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">His face turned somber, he hesitated for a second and then said, \u201dSome, but not English prisons. I am a priest and will soon be allowed to visit here regularly. If I only get my permit and keys, I will try to have regular conversations with those who want.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cWhat kind of prisons do you know then?\u201d I was now curious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201dI worked in Brazil before. Nine years. In the poor northeastern parts of the country. I was a priest but became so involved in the farmers\u2019 struggle for their rights that I was arrested during a land occupation. I spent a couple of weeks in jail before I was released,\u201d he said.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Noam Chomsky, who I am very inspired by, believes that the poor farmers\u2019 land occupation movement is one of the most significant movements today in the world. I asked Alexandro if the movement is strong.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201dYes, we were a few thousand just during the land occupation I was with,\u201d Alexandro said. He straightened himself.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\">\n\t\t#newsletter-block_ef5e889d0cf75bc2ffa309fb4bc1e5b5 {\n\t\t\t\tbackground: #ECECEC;\n\t\t\t\tcolor: #000000;\n\t\t}\n\t\t#newsletter-block_ef5e889d0cf75bc2ffa309fb4bc1e5b5 #mc_embed_signup_front input#mce-EMAIL {\n\t\t\t\tborder-color:#000000 !important;\n\t\t\t\tcolor: #000000 !important;\n\t\t}\n<\/style>\n<div id=\"newsletter-block_ef5e889d0cf75bc2ffa309fb4bc1e5b5\" class=\"newsletter px-4 pt-4 pb-2 text-center mb-4\">\n    <div class=\"newsletter-block\">\n        <h3 class=\"newsletter-block\">Sign Up for our Newsletter<\/h3>\n        <p class=\"newsletter-description\">We&#8217;ll send you a weekly email with the latest articles.<\/p>\n        <div class=\"newsletter-form-wrapper\">\n          <div id=\"mc_embed_signup_front\" class=\"py-3 w-100\">\n  <form action=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.us2.list-manage.com\/subscribe\/post?u=f279f100fef8b39c61c33aef1&amp;id=615747eb15\" method=\"post\" id=\"mc-embedded-subscribe-form\" name=\"mc-embedded-subscribe-form\" class=\"validate\" target=\"_blank\" novalidate>\n    <div id=\"mc_embed_signup_scroll\">\n      <div class=\"mc-field-group input-group\">\n        <input type=\"email\" value=\"\" name=\"EMAIL\" class=\"required email form-control\" placeholder=\"Email Address\" id=\"mce-EMAIL\">\n        <div class=\"input-group-append\">\n          <input type=\"submit\" value=\"Subscribe\" name=\"subscribe\" id=\"mc-embedded-subscribe\" class=\"d-flex btn btn-sm btn-yellow\">\n        <\/div>\n      <\/div>\n      <!-- real people should not fill this in and expect good things - do not remove this or risk form bot signups-->\n      <div style=\"position: absolute; left: -5000px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n        <input type=\"text\" name=\"b_f279f100fef8b39c61c33aef1_79af2f1e5e\" tabindex=\"-1\" value=\"\">\n      <\/div>\n      <div id=\"mce-responses\" class=\"clear\">\n        <div class=\"response\" id=\"mce-error-response\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div>\n        <div class=\"response\" id=\"mce-success-response\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div>\n      <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n  <\/form>\n<\/div>        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A guard walked past behind my back. I did not look up but continued: \u201cI am a peace researcher and read a lot about political movements. It is frustrating that Western movement researchers only talk about movements as if they consist of a young middle class seeking and forming new identities. They do not recognize the movements of the Global South. They only see their own backyard of lifestyle orientation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Continuing, Alexandro said, \u201dI don&#8217;t know, but the farmers I met were driven by a strong faith. They helped me maintain my Christian faith. Otherwise, it&#8217;s hard to cope with. Death squads shoot farmers and street children. I was threatened with murder and had to escape. I did not want to; my duty was to stay with my brothers and sisters, but the other priests said I had to. So now I&#8217;m here. For how long, I do not know. But tell me now, is there anything you want to talk about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cResistance in the Global South,\u201d I said. \u201cSometimes the prison makes me sick to my stomach. It is a strange existence. What is most difficult for me is the lack of intimacy, and the impossibility of showing any kind of weakness. I&#8217;m pretty tough, and know that showing fear can provoke some violent men. I can get along with the strangest kind of people. I have worked some years at a psychiatric ward, but somewhere, sometimes, I need an emotional intimacy and connection. Otherwise, it is difficult to cope with everything in the long run.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At that instant I caught myself breathing fast, and realizing this, I took a few deep breaths. I then continued: \u201cI get depressed, lose energy when I cannot be honest with anyone. Here, inside the prison, there is no such possibility. You can&#8217;t even find a place to be by yourself and cry. There is always someone around you. Inside this place, it seems, the only alternatives offered are to become an emotionally-contained brick stone, emotionally-stunted drug zombie, or emotion-releasing wacko\u2026\u201d I stopped speaking suddenly, realizing that I may have said too much.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was surprised that I talked so openly with someone I had just met. Was I that desperate for human contact? As I reflect now, I realize that I may have shared my feelings openly because I felt that Alexandro and I had some common ground, a connection.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Alexandro observed my pause, and then slowly said, \u201dLoneliness of the soul is the worst. Worse than anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I nodded and we sat quietly together. It felt wonderful; my body felt at ease, my head felt lighter. Around us, there was chatter and chairs scratching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When Alexandro still said nothing, I started to talk again, now completely without inhibitions: \u201dPersonal relationships are treated as garbage by the system. No one asks who you want to share a cell with; no one talks about where you will \u2018live\u2019 until just when you are moved for some reason. Even if you ask to share with someone special, it is not accepted. \u2018Do you think this is a hotel?\u2019 you are told by the sneering guard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201dWhen I was in prison in Brazil, we were 20 people in a cell meant for four. People were suffocated to death by the heat and the congestion. We barely got any food. Far too little water. Compared to that prison, this seems like a hotel,\u201d Alexandro said, shrugging his shoulders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was quiet before I burst out laughing. \u201dYou are fucking right! I hate to complain, I am sorry. But I was actually thinking about how it is for all the others, the ordinary criminals, those who do not have the support I have.\u201d However, this was only partly true, and I knew it. In actuality, I was complaining, feeling sorry for myself.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Alexandro nodded seriously, and I felt encouraged to continue: \u201dThose who cannot read, and have no interests to focus on during the endless hours in the cell, smoke and listen to music all day long. And sleep a lot. Their lives are empty because they have no stimulation, and have never experienced anything&nbsp; else. They die an emotional and social death in prison.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Alexandro agreed, mentioning that this a class issue. He then said that he was a liberation theologian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201dBut both my Christianity and my Marxism are weak nowadays. What keeps me up, and gives me faith, is the faith of those economically the poorest. The memories of them carry me,\u201d he said, as his gaze turned foggy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My mind buzzed: Could one meet a soul mate, inside a prison, in just half an hour?<\/p>\n\n\n<section class=\"display-posts-listing\"><h6 class=\"sans-serif text-uppercase small-letter-spacing text-gray\">Previous Coverage<\/h6><li class=\"listing-item\"><a class=\"image\" href=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/2021\/11\/prison-as-an-unavoidable-and-useful-part-of-resistance\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"655\" src=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2021\/11\/Screen-Shot-2021-11-10-at-6.21.36-PM-1024x655.png\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-post-image\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2021\/11\/Screen-Shot-2021-11-10-at-6.21.36-PM-1024x655.png 1024w, https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2021\/11\/Screen-Shot-2021-11-10-at-6.21.36-PM-300x192.png 300w, https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2021\/11\/Screen-Shot-2021-11-10-at-6.21.36-PM-768x491.png 768w, https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2021\/11\/Screen-Shot-2021-11-10-at-6.21.36-PM.png 1182w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a> <a class=\"title\" href=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/2021\/11\/prison-as-an-unavoidable-and-useful-part-of-resistance\/\">Prison as an unavoidable and useful part of resistance<\/a><\/li><\/section>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Still, I felt a bit differently about this, and told him so: \u201cI think it is my job as a white man from the middle class in the Western world to use my privileges in the struggle. The poor can figure out their lives themselves if we stop oppressing them. It is our duty to fight&nbsp; oppression, and it is easier to fight if you are not poor and don\u2019t have to struggle to survive\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Alexandro raised his hand and interrupted my speech: \u201dI do not know. The poor are the ones who fight. The middle class are trapped in their own wealth or make a career of the struggle for justice.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201dYes, clearly, the middle-class as a whole but not everyone,\u201d I said. \u201cThere are many from the middle class who try. And when those who have resources resist, things can change; if it is done in solidarity with the poor. If I am treated badly, I can resist in a way more forceful than the deaf-mute guy who lives in the cell next to me, or Dave who is illiterate. I try to be stoic and be well-behaved when facing the daily humiliation in this strange house of oppression, but show me a guard who oppresses people and I am ready to pick a fight &#8230; I will contact my support people and that damned oppressor will be drowned in letters, lawsuits and complaints! Demonstrations outside the walls and other actions \u2026\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Right when I blurted out all that, I regretted it. I realized that my tongue ran along my feelings. I had just revealed my na\u00efve willingness to be in solidarity with the poor. Alexandro was too respectful and kind to not humiliate this arrogant do-gooder. He said instead, \u201cSounds good. Would be interesting to hear about some of the fights you have fought that have benefited the oppressed in prison.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Before I could compensate for my excesses, the guard leaned forward and said, \u201dEnd the conspiracies. Time is over, comrades!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I stood, smiled at Alexandro and asked him to visit me again. He promised to visit, and pushed his chair back in its place. I leaned over the visitor\u2019s table, embraced him and whispered: \u201dMaybe I can borrow your prison keys next time?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>While in prison for protesting nuclear weapons, I found myself struggling with loneliness, until I received an unexpected visitor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":556,"featured_media":52448,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,60,76],"tags":[27,44,52,66,75,98],"region":[31,53],"series":[],"article_type":[],"class_list":["post-52449","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-economic-justice","category-militarism","category-racial-justice","tag-economic-policy","tag-incarceration","tag-land-rights","tag-nuclear-weapons","tag-protests","tag-war","region-europe","region-latin-america"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.2 (Yoast SEO v28.2) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Forging human connections in prison \u2014 even when the system treats them as garbage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"While in prison for protesting nuclear weapons, I found myself struggling with loneliness, until I received an unexpected visitor.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/2023\/01\/forging-human-connections-in-prison-even-when-the-system-treats-them-as-garbage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Forging human connections in prison \u2014 even when the system treats them as garbage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"While in prison for protesting nuclear weapons, I found myself struggling with loneliness, until I received an unexpected visitor.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/2023\/01\/forging-human-connections-in-prison-even-when-the-system-treats-them-as-garbage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Resistance Studies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/wagingnonviolence\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-01-04T22:49:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-01-11T15:36:18+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wagingnonviolence.org\/rs\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2023\/01\/1024px-KingstonPenVisiting.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Stellan Vinthagen\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@wagingnv\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@wagingnv\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Stellan Vinthagen\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wagingnonviolence.org\\\/rs\\\/2023\\\/01\\\/forging-human-connections-in-prison-even-when-the-system-treats-them-as-garbage\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wagingnonviolence.org\\\/rs\\\/2023\\\/01\\\/forging-human-connections-in-prison-even-when-the-system-treats-them-as-garbage\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Stellan 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