Today, father, is father’s day,
And we’re giving you a tie.
It’s not much we know,
It’s just our way of showing you
We think you are a regular guy.
You say that it was nice of us to bother.
But it really was a pleasure to fuss,
For according to our mother,
You’re our father,
And that’s good enough for us.
—Groucho Marx
Father’s Day reminds me that we are living in more than one America — in an empire (albeit in decline) which attempts to divide us while pretending that we are or should be all alike.
The questionable a priori provability of fatherhood, coupled with historic emotional distance, has long given fuel to the idea — summarized in the above-cited words of Marx (Groucho, not Karl) — that fathers are just not as important as mothers. In some ways, Gandhi confirmed this biologically-determinist position when he wrote that “man can never be a woman’s equal in the spirit of selfless service with which nature has endowed her.” Of course, Gandhi also went far beyond thinking that nature scripted one’s destiny. The love-force feature of his satyagraha protests and constructive programs may often be overlooked, but his optimism about people was always clear. “Brute nature,” he reminded us, “has been known to yield to the influence of love. You must never despair of human nature.”
Indeed, it is “unnatural” phenomenon — the matters of race and class (or, more correctly put, of racism and capitalism and sexism) — which must remind us of the divided Americas we live in. It is hard for me to celebrate Father’s Day in light of the knowledge that there are more men of African descent in U.S. jails today than there were enslaved in the era just prior to the Civil War. With the “war on crime,” “war on drugs” and “war on terror” targeting men of oppressed nationalities just as conventional bullets-and-bombs wars put these same men on the front lines, it is noteworthy that — according to the Drug Policy Alliance — one out of three black men aged 18 to 35 are in some way entangled in the criminal justice system.
Some of the more political of these men have come to understand the ways in which patriarchy and power diminish us all. Former Black Panther and current political prisoner Russell “Maroon” Shoats, for example, writes eloquently about the links between violence against people and the planet and the male supremacy which all men have been socialized into — and most men still subscribe to. Despite his more than 20 consecutive years in solitary confinement, Maroon’s words ring out clearly:
Psychologically and socially — like most males — from birth I was conditioned and socialized to accept and even seek violent solutions to most problems: the pirates, cowboys and Indians, war movies, James Bond, gangsters, boxing, football, martial arts, hunting, and on and on… Little boys get toy guns, toy soldiers, football gear and then “graduate” to get (or want) real guns and to go to war — with “somebody!”…
It’s my opinion that the leading feminist/matriarchy thinkers and activists are heads and shoulders above all others in offering up a worldview that we can utilize to help rescue ourselves and the environment from this worsening crisis we’ve allowed ourselves to be manipulated into.
David Gilbert, a former leader of Students for a Democratic Society (and another political prisoner and dedicated father), chronicled his experiences and reflections as an activist with an early pro-feminist organization in the 1970s, Colorado’s Men Against Sexism, in his recent book Love and Struggle. “The main point,” he wrote, “wasn’t some unattainable self-perfection; fighting sexism mandated concrete solidarity with women’s struggles.” Simply asking women in the movement what support they most needed was a good (though sometimes daunting) first step — not unlike the steps still needed by men interested in working against patriarchy, whites struggling against white supremacy or people on “the outside” looking to work in solidarity with those literally shackled by the modern violence of runaway prison and military industrial complexes.
Beyond thinking about my own and the many other “brothers behind bars” this Father’s Day, I feel moved to remember my good fortune of having two fathers — one biological, the other “adopted”; one white and one black. My biological father taught me the softness of a man uninterested in the physical world. He also symbolically ripped up his Korean War army papers in solidarity with me in the early 1980s, when I was a public non-registrant for the draft. Though not overtly involved in the peace movement, Simon’s days as an early activist in the teacher’s unions taught me that economic justice was a central concern not to be overlooked. My “adopted” stepfather, a pan-Africanist mentor who later became a full part of my own patchwork family, taught me the tough ways of a committed pacifist who nevertheless supported national liberation movements in all their forms. While introducing me to his generation of comrades and conscientious objectors, Bill also showed me that sticking to one’s principles doesn’t always mean “taking sides” in battles where there are many participants who each have a slice of the truth.
I think about another complex and principled father who, like Gandhi, believed greatly in the transformative and revolutionary power of love. Aleida Guevara recently described her father Che’s “great thirst for love,” and recalled his obsessions and values passed down to his children: “Don’t mistreat books,” she remembers. “That was a really strong belief. Be a friend to mankind, do not put up with injustice of any kind, anywhere, and be worthy of your country. Nothing more than that, but that was a lot.” Aleida, like her father, has grown up to become a medical doctor, devoted to helping her community and fellow Cuban people.
It is not at all clear that Father’s Day — since its founding in 1910 up to modern times — bore much of the universal peace message rooted in the creation of Mother’s Day; it has long been a primarily commercial affair. I guess my family is lucky in that regard: Father’s Day falls right in the middle of my two children’s birthdays, so there is little time or money to be spent feting yours truly. But if it gives progressive families of all configurations a chance to reflect on those made invisible by an oppressive and violent society, and a chance to use the day for positive and peace-building community-based constructions, I guess that we can wish a happy Father’s Day to everyone.
Hello Matt,
I appreciate your reflections on father’s day, pro-feminism, mass incarceration, and the need to analyze the complexity of political power and political history.
I know the two of us have almost had a conversation about Cuba and Ché on a number of occasions, but have never really discussed it together in depth, at least not for many years. But the idea that Ché is portrayed here as a principled exponent of love (I know he often is – especially because of his justly famous line about true revolutionaries being motivated by it), doesn’t fit with my understanding of many of his actions and politics.
I’m not going to address the issue of Ché’s participation in and advocacy of violent revolutions per se, here, though that’s an important component of this dialogue, because some of Che’s actions were so egregious that many advocates of violent revolution who care about genuine liberation repudiate them.
Which Ché can be described as a principled advocate of love?
The Che who wanted to execute his fellow guerillas who went on a hunger strike (to protest lack of food)? (Castro countermanded his execution order.) (See the very informative article, “Saint Che,” at http://theanarchistlibrary.org/HTML/Larry_Gambone__Saint_Che__The_Truth_Behind_the_Legend_of_the_Heroic_Guerilla__Ernesto_Che_Guevara.html)
The Che who in 1967 urged world-wide war fueled by ” a relentless hatred…impelling us above and beyond the natural limitations that man is heir to, transforming him into an effective, violent, seductive and cold killing machine…”?(http://theanarchistlibrary.org/HTML/Larry_Gambone__Saint_Che__The_Truth_Behind_the_Legend_of_the_Heroic_Guerilla__Ernesto_Che_Guevara.html)
The Ché who ordered the execution of scores of people in La Cabaña prison after the revolution? Some of the hunderds of people he personally ordered to be executed were Catholics arrested for anti-communist leafleting.
The Ché who banned trade unions in Cuba after the revolution?
The Ché who banned anarchist and Trotskyist groups? (http://theanarchistlibrary.org/HTML/Larry_Gambone__Saint_Che__The_Truth_Behind_the_Legend_of_the_Heroic_Guerilla__Ernesto_Che_Guevara.html)
The Ché who said that Cuba should have launched nuclear weapons against the US during the missile crisis? (Even though he had personally visited Hiroshima in 1959, Ché said, about the missile crisis, that launching the missiles would have been worth the “millions of atomic war victims.” (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Che_Guevara#cite_ref-145)
The Ché who went to Bolivia to wage “revolution” but neglected to talk with leftists in Bolivia beforehand to let them know that the time of Ché’s violent revolution was nigh?
Since this post is in reference to father’s day, it might also be useful to look at what Che’s parents said about the person Che had become. According to the “Saint Che” article quoted above (in turn quoting from the John Lee Anderson biography, which I haven’t read), “As his father, Guevara-Lynch stated, ‘Ernesto brutalized his sensibilities to become a revolutionary.’ His mother characterized this new Ernesto as ‘intolerant and fanatical.’ His parents were not opposed to left-wing politics, only what these politics were doing to their son.”
For another article which discusses some of these issues (though not all), see this article from libcom.org (http://libcom.org/history/guevara-ernesto-che-1928-1967).
Was Che anti-sexist? This is a genuine question on my part. I’ve never heard anyone claim he was.
I think Che should be regarded as more a symbol of patriarchal dictatorial violence, of the kind of fanaticism that could regret failing to initiate a nuclear World War III, and of the institutionalization of human rights abuses by the state in the name of “revolution,” than of any kind of genuine principled liberation.
Great article! Love the focus on mass incarceration, political prisoners as examples of pro-feminist men, and the focus on a radical, feminist internationalism. Thanks for writing it, Matt.
Dear Sam,
I am a bit saddened by your long note, not so much by what it says but by what it does not say. As a father and long-term pro-feminist, you surely have some stories, reflections, advice, and vision on Father’s Day and fighting patriarchy, beyond a diatribe suggesting that Che be mainly regarded as a symbol of patriarchal dictatorial violence. Really I thought that position was already taken by Mitt Romney.
Let me be clear: I am not going to defend Che here, as I did not do so in the original piece (which includes mention of him in only one of ten paragraphs, by way of a quote from his daughter). I won’t refute the facts you state, though I would like to note that reliance primarily on one major source is hardly scholarly. I will say this about Che and Gandhi both, as I used those two figures in my piece for Beautiful Trouble: I don’t believe that making any man into an icon is a healthy thing for building people’s movements, but once that is done, I do believe it is fair game to play with those icons. Neither Che nor Gandhi have been lauded for their anti-sexism—far, far from it. But, as we see those two set almost in stone as almost diametrically opposite poles of a revolutionary spectrum, I find it more than a little interesting that both relied on more than a little rhetoric about the powers of love (as each seemed to have more than a little problem manifesting that power appropriately in their personal lives). Though nuptials may not be legal in every one of these United States, I still insist on a marriage of Gandhi and Che—at least on their stated beliefs about love-force for revolution—for a new, more nuanced, less dichotomized (and Euro-centric) view of revolution in this 21st century of ours.
What I most want to say is this: BRAVO to all those of my fellow New Yorkers who spent Father’s Day protesting the NY Police Department’s racist and classist “Stop and Frisk” policies. BRAVO to all those women throughout the world whose daily leadership for peace and justice brings us a little closer to that beloved community of true liberation for all.
yours always, MattM